A Good Spanking

Dear Friends,
Yesterday I just wanted to cry.  Ladies know the feeling.  Anxiety builds and we need a release.  I wish I could efficiently let go of anxiety by breathing deeply, or whatever, but no.  For me, the most effective method of releasing anxiety is a good spanking and a good cry.

If you've read this blog for awhile, you know that my husband suggested that if I really want a spanking I should ask for one.  So, I did.  I asked for a spanking and he asked why I needed to be spanked.  I said I had a lot of anxiety and just wanted to cry, so he said okay. 

When the time came, he went to sort through the implements and collected the mean ones: the hairbrush, bathbrush, nasty thick wooden spatula, a small wooden paddle, etc.  I saw that and ran to get some leather and quickly found the belt.  He said if I wanted to cry he had his work cut out for him.  He seemed to think that more pain equals tears.  No no no.  That's not it.

I tried to explain that crying is about emotional content, not volume of pain.  In fact, painful swats just make me jump and yell and think about escape.  Tears don't occur to me when I am in a fight or flight mode.  I didn't want to be afraid of him or to marshall my resources to endure a hard spanking.  I wanted a pleasant, rhythmic, predictable, steady, somewhat firm spanking.

That kind of spanking allows my thoughts to meander over whatever sadness or disappointment or anxiety that has gathered over the past several days.  I can think my thoughts and cry my tears while the heat is steadily rising.  By the end I can take a hard spanking, and I did.  I like hard swats at the end, after the tears.  It is wonderful to float into subspace and relax and let go and allow the spanks to get harder and harder, but barely to notice.  Then, slowly, the swats are so hard I start to yelp a bit and gradually come out of the trance to enjoy a nice, vigorous spanking.  As it turned out he did use a few of the nasty implements, but he finished strong with the belt.  It was a good spanking.

That is a full service spanking to me.  Tears, subspace, wriggle and fuss, and finally the pride of having taken a good spanking.  The heat rises, endorphins flood, and the spanking begins to sink into memory and soreness.  I feel relaxed, happy, and loved.  Anxiety gone.

Happy spanking, everyone,
Maryann